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Readers Respond: Are You Dating Someone with OCD?

Responses: 7

By

Updated May 27, 2010

From the article: Dating Someone With OCD
Although any intimate relationship has its ups and downs, dating someone with OCD can present some additional challenges -- as well as opportunities for growth. Are you currently dating someone with OCD? How do you cope when your partner has an increase in their symptoms? How open is your partner about sharing what they are experiencing? Share these and other experiences.

Long distance OCD romance

I have known this man for 10 months and we have been dating exclusively for 4 months. His OCD centers around his car/home/clothing/himself being clean. His anxiety level goes through the roof whenever he does laundry, cleans house, etc. He pushes through despite his anxiety. He takes meds (even though he hates them) and sees two therapists a few times a week. We live in seperate states so there is also that strain along with the strain of OCD. He also suffers from PTSD which causes him to linger on certain events and can often limit his outings. However, he is a wonderfully patient and kind man whom I love very much. He's a SLOW mover in the romance department but that's ok, I know his feelings for me run very deep and I wouldn't trade him for anything. I want to close the distance so we can pursue a more normal relationship but funds are low and jobs are hard to come by. Patience and faith are key to keeping this relationship strong. :)
—Guest Roser

It's a roller coaster

I've known my boyfriend for 2 years and we've been dating for 1 year at first it never really bothered me, but now it's really bad. We have to buy the same brand soap, shampoo, face wash ect because everything in the shower has to match. In the fridge everything as to be grouped together and facing frontward. He has a certain routine in the morning, and if doesn't following his routine he gets hostile. Sex used to be fun, but now it feels like a routine there's no spark anymore. He makes a list for everyday and has to follow it to the T. We love each other very much but I feel like OCD is taking over his life to the point I can't handle him and I want to breakup. He refuses to seek help because he says that doctors and therapists dont know how to treat him and aren't qualified enough. He always has to get his own way and always has to be right.
—Guest Gigi

Never understood

I have a 1 Yr old son with a man who has OCD. We were together for 5 Yrs before we broke up. It's hard cause he really did everything he could've done for OCD. He did counseling, psychiatry, etc. The more commitment, the more responsibility, the harder it is for him and the harder it is for me. There's a lot of worrying over everything, pushing me away, he very emotional when his ticks are not satisfied. I always feel heel never be there for be or never will try to understand me. Cause he is so controlling and stuck in his head. He'll repeat the same events and arguments over and over again....but he'll only remember the things that make me look bad. He obsesses over what people will think of him when they hear of our arguments---like I would actually tell everyone! Sex life is hard...it's different....in the beginning, he obsessed of my past being promiscuous-.but it wasnt. When committed, he would have to have Routines: Shower, clean house, sex, after a while, it "wasn't spontaneous"
—Guest A

OCD stress on relationship

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 yrs now and we got engaged last year. He was diagnosed with OCD almost 2 yrs ago (although the symptoms were present long before that). Lately, he's been getting worse and the obsessions are really bringing him down. He's distant all the time cos he's so engrossed in his worrisome thoughts. He's not as loving and attentive as he was and he doesn't deal with stress well. Recently, I get really worried and anxious about the future cos I'm not sure if he can handle the stresses of married/family life. I really want to help him but I don't know the right way to go about it. He's tried some meds but never stuck them out long enough for them to have an effect and he's receiving therapy but sessions are very infrequent and are not enough to be effective. Can anyone give me some words of advice on how I can help or how to deal with the OCD in a better way please?
—Guest Anon

Engaged

I've been with my partner a while & we have 2 children together. He has OCD where he feels he has to repeat sentences over and over until he has reached a certain number sometimes this can go on for days. I'm not sure I can be with him anymore as this is really getting me down especially when some of the things he says arent nice. I know this is an illness & I feel really bad for feeling the way I do about it all, I also have worked in health care but I don't want my kids growing up thinking their dads behaviour is normal. I do love him I just don't know what to do for the best. It's really bringing me down especially when he try's to involve me in it aswell.
—Guest Anon

marie

I was with someone with ocd for 7 years and engaged this past year. He was obsessed everyday with my past sexual roster. We also work together and he ruined our work relationship by talking about it everyday and giving me sick notes. I begged him to stop. He just informed me he has been diagnosed with OCD and tried explaining it to me. i always told him he has OCD but now it is official. I broke up with him. I feel very guilty. I love him but don't want this in my life. I already went through a bad 18 year marriage. I am trying hard not to get back with him. It is so painful, I am sick over it. I am very compassionate with physical disease because I am a nurse but have difficulty with mental illness. We have worked together for 17 years. I don't know what the right answer is.
—Guest marie

Not Dating

I want to date someone who has casually mentioned that he has OCD. I once saw him tapping his fingers, which makes me think he actually has a dx. Anyway, I feel a spark from him and he is such a lovely person, but he has flat out refused to date me because we are co-workers. Upon further discussion, he said that he "knows his limitations" and I wonder if it isn't his need to manage his stress and symptoms that is prompting this rejection. I am trying to respect his wishes and choices, but it's hard as I feel quite strongly about him and haven't felt this way about anyone in a very long time. Can anyone provide some advice?
—Guest Rock Star

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